Listening is a Business Asset
Many entrepreneurs and business people take initial and even follow-on training in the classical business subjects. However, many neglect a fertile area of learning called the “soft” skills.
These are topics that philosophy and social science majors take like, facilitation, team leader, personality types and listening skills.
If you are in the business world and are a good listener, you have a great advantage over those who are not. What are these listening skills and how do we obtain them?
I believe it starts with having the right attitude. In his famous book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Fireside Press, Stephen Covey dedicates an entire chapter to what he calls “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”. He says that we have a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with really good advice before we take time to diagnose and really understand the problem. In effect we are not really listening.
Most people prefer to talk rather than listen. Some have fallen in love with the sound of their own voice. Some think that they can only impress people by talking. Some have just not understood the importance of good listening skills. You can learn when you listen. You can’t learn much when you talk.
Listening is the heart of good communication and, in business, there are many with whom good communication is critical: customers, employees, vendors, bankers, government officials, etc.
So what are good listening skills? Many believe that listening is a passive activity but this is not true. We must learn “active listening”. Active listening requires that you devote your full attention to the speaker. No “multi-tasking”, thinking about something else, or preparing what you want to say. We won’t even mention interrupting. This active listening requires effort. We think about four times as fast as we talk, so we are frequently thinking ahead. Don’t
Develop what I call good connecting skills. Eye contact is crucial. I like head nodding. Leaning forward is positive. These all show you are listening. Facial expressions are important, smile. Have a positive look, showing connectivity. Remember listening is a full-time activity.
When complete understanding is required, use the feedback approach. This is a process whereby you rephrase or restate the person’s response in you own words. It is a verification process to confirm your correct understanding and show that you were listening. It is a good summary.
Selling experts say that you have to out-listen someone, not out talk them. Listeners make more sales than talkers. In the old, hard sell days, sales people were fast talkers. Now they must be good listeners.
Watch out for barriers to good listening. These include indifference, impatience and thinking ahead. We have all heard people (poor listeners) finish other people’s sentences. Avoid negative body language. This includes arms folded, frowning and hands on hips.
As well as Covey’s seek to understand concept, I like to use the philosophy of being interested rather than interesting. It shows that you want to know about the other person. The best tool for this is the question. By asking questions about the other person, you allow them to tell you what they want to say. You are interested. Most people like being asked questions. I have been told by people that they have enjoyed our conversation, when all I have done is asked a few questions, listened to their answers, and thrown in a few head nods.
So, increase your business assets. Develop good listening skills.
This article was written by Seattle SCORE Chapter member Fred Parkinson for the Kitsap Sun in Bremerton.